Saturday, October 3, 2009

And he still runs for the kite.................

well..this one's actually a continuation to one of my older posts 'Princess'.If you have already read that,you would be well aware of my obsession with regard to the topic on the followers of prophet mohammed.
'Princess' was the second book which managed to stir the tear glands in me.The first being 'A thousand splendid suns'.Like i always claimed,this Khalid Hosseini book has a very special place in my heart. Despite having the book in my ownership for over 2 months,i refrained from reading it till the minute i landed at the airport for my first journey to the Arab land.Then i plunged headlong into it and reading it while actually sitting amidst sweet scent of 'athar' and aabha clad women gave a very special meaning to the book.
And now a new addition to this list - The kite runner.
There are very few books which i have started and not finished, one being fountainhead, another - Godfather (unfortunately i saw the movie first and cudnt make myself read through the entire book !) and the third - the kite runner. Though the reason for this being entirely different. At the point where Amir meets Rahim in pakistan to talk about the bygone years,my eyes always welled up and i dint want to know what came of Hassan. Twice i tried and both times, i stopped reading at this point.
Yesterday evening after a very heated argument with Aks on my obsession in this regard, i was fully determined and sat down with the book at 10 PM. The same words, the same pomegranate tree..everything in the book was the same untill i got to their reunion. And i dint stop, despite the choking sensation ..i dint stop till i came to the last statement in the book, five minutes ago.
As every other book in this genre, this one has also taken away a part of me. A part of me which i had been obsessed with for as long as i can remember.
I am not religious, i am just spiritual.And such books always leave me lost.I fail to see the purpose,the message or maybe it's just that i dont want to see the purpose or the message. All i feel is a choking sensation draining the air out of me.
With each word i read in the book, my life's biggest dream just keeps making its purpose more and more clear to me. For those of you who know about it,No - its not the beauty or mystery which bades me for it.. but it's the lack of all these.

For you,a thousand times over................................

Ps: In a totally disoriented state of mind and yes, long weekends can be a drag if not spent at home ! :(

Friday, September 11, 2009

Star light.....Star bright.......

Star light,Star bright
The first star i see tonight
I wish i may
i wish i might
have the wish i make tonight

For almost 12 years of my life, i grew up chanting this every evening when i gazed at the sky and saw the first bright evening star. And for certain, i believed that the stars above granted me my wish each time.

Many years later, when i happened to leave late from office yesterday and while taking the regular path to the late shuttles parked near the gate, i happened to have a glance at the sky and seeing my good old friend twinkling in the night sky, i felt such a tug of nostalgia in my heart that even before i could stop myself, i was repeating the familiar old 'rhyme' and for the first time in many years, i was actually wishing that the stars would grant me my wish one last time.

Standing mesmerised in the middle of my office pathway is definitely not my idea of being nostalgic.

There was a time in my childhood when i used to run to the terrace of our high rise apartment complex, at exactly 6:30 in the evening and wait till the first star comes out,to shout out my wish. This was a routine every day for a very long time in my life.Gradually,with growing out of my childhood, i realised that i have even grown out of most things which made me happy.

The simple joy i got from seeing the night sky, the twinkling stars or the rain or the feel of the wind in my face, all these became memories of a distant past.Till yesterday evening, i had actually forgotten when was the last time that i gazed at the night sky and admired the full glowing glory!

But despite all the wisdom endowed on me by the increasing number of candles on my birthday cake, i still felt a great sense of happiness after standing for a minute and talking to the stars one more time..................for the wish i make tonight.......................

Saturday, August 29, 2009

This one's for you Ryan

Like someone rightly said, the best things in the world comes in the smallest package and right now i just cannot agree more.

A pair of tiny curled up fists, two tiny slits in the face from which looked out the most innocent pair of eyes, a near bald head with few tufts of fur [not hair really!!] staying tangled up here and there, tiny feet kicking the air around and the most wonderful part - the aroma of a new born, these are what welcomed me as i walked into the hospital room to see you for the first time.

I am not intending this to be a bollywood style filmi masala post, but maybe years later when you do drop by to read your aunt's blog, do remember to stop at this post and know that she still feels the same love for you as she did when she was composing this post for you!

Babies are always special. I have always wondered seeing mine and my brother's baby photos ' in the world did something so small and cute like that grow up to be something like this !!' Let's see how better you are going to fare ryan ! :) But for the time being i just remember you as two day old baby covered up in a blue towel and making cute lil gurgling noises in your crib.

Nope, you are definitely not the first baby i am holding, not the first baby to hurl your curled up fists at me. There have been plenty of wonderful cute babies around, but you came when i was at a age to realise that a baby is just not another source of entertainment in the house, but infact a new realm of life which can transform the life of the parents and the entire household, a responsibilty so big and new, a creation solely belonging to the parents and no one else! For the first time in my life, i was looking at a new life with a much more deeper sense of understanding. Well...if you are confused, let me just put it simpler..your aunt just admitted she is getting mature!

Anyways, i know i looked into your eyes and told you that i do really love you.. and you returned my love with a huge yawn [I must say..for a 2 day definitely gave a huge yawn!]. I spent hours sitting by your side and watching you sleep.You definitely dreamt a lot those days!After a while i lost count of the number of times you smiled, frowned, whimpered and pouted in your sleep.Though for the life of me, i still can't imagine what a 2 day old baby has so much to dream about !! In all our lives together ,i am sure to have pestered you to tell me about those dreams if you do still remember them..and i reiterate the same statements here - do post it as your comments in here !

I really loved hearing you bawl, which was very seldom, since you were a pretty well behaved baby and preferred sleeping away the entire time [way to go boy! that definitely shows we are the same blood!!] But the few times that you did cry, i have stopped rhea and your dad from consoling you immediately.. atleast not until i knew that your cries are still resounding in my head.

Everytime i held you in my arms, i could feel your heart fluttering away through the towels wrapped around you and i have always whispered in your ears that i promise to be careful with you in my arms.I realised i have never held something so pure ever before.

The aroma of your powder soaked towels and the baby oil and your baby smell, those were what i call the 'scent of life'.If your mom ever looked around for your one day old baby socks, actually just a sock, tell her its still safely tucked away in my bag :) !

I dont know what it is that your tiny feet or fists or your little eyes did, but you definitely bought a new meaning to life for me, with just your presence.

Your addition to my life has made me open my eyes to the reality around me and realise that life does move on...................

I love you, my lil ryan baby.........

Monday, August 3, 2009

Just a lil thought...from the bottom of my heart....

As I look back on all that's happened..growing up, growing together, changing you, changing me,changing us -- there were times when we dreamed together, when we laughed and cried together. As I look back on those days, I realize how much I truly miss you and how much you meant to much i love you. The past may be gone forever..and whatever the future holds, our todays make the memories of tomorrow. So, my lifetime friends, it is with all my heart that I send you my love, hoping that you'll always carry my smile with you, for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold.
For a day which really means nothing... but nevertheless.... just for the heck of it....Happy friendship day !!!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The end of an era.. ..

All good things must come to an end..
And everything just did ........
So abruptly..but so definitely......
A toast to the best days of my life.......
And to the two most important people who have been part of it..
Oops sorry..three..i can't forget Hobbes !! :)
And no..four... no five... well...
A toast to the ones still a part of it ..............
Well,wise choice....
A toast to everyone ...!!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Way back into love

Song for the day...
From a very cute movie 'Music and Lyrics'. Hugh Grant is adorable ;)..i simply love his accent !

I've been living with a shadow overhead,
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed,
I've been lonely for so long,
Trapped in the past,
I just can't seem to move on!

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,
Just in case I ever need them again someday,
I've been setting aside time,
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind!

All I wanna do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine,
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs,
I know that it's out there,
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere!

I've been looking for someone to shed some light,
Not somebody just to get me through the night,
I could use some direction,
And I'm open to your suggestions.

All I wanna do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart again,
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end!

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I wanna do is find a way back into love,
I can't make it through without a way back into love,

And if I open my heart to you,
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do,
And if you help me to start again,
You know that I'll be there for you in the end!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A little bit of humor here and there..... make my day.... !
Been a while since i made myself type out something. Today, during my journey to office, i happened to come across a signboard on a traffic out-post.It really caught my attention (topic No:5 below ).That's when i started iterating through all the signboards i have read and which have bought a smile to my face.Thought of sharing it here.So here goes......
The first line quotes the funny text in the boards and the second line...
well..those are what went through my mind when i read the sign boards !!

1.On a board outside a house in my lane,it reads "No parking for public".
Oh,Sorry.I dont park for public..but can i park for myself? :)

2.On a drycleaner's board:"Dying will be done here".
Will u take care of living too :P

3.Again,on a board outside a house:"Dont even think of parking here".
Righto ! Am parking without thinking :)

PS: Somehow,most funny boards are always related to traffic and vehicles.. have you noticed that?

4.On a traffic sign-post:"Left turn not free".
Duhh...ok.Will call after sometime..whenever the left turn is free :)

5.A traffic sign board again :"Dont drink and driver".
Driver what? were u intending something here ..:)

6.On a board at a junction:"Acci-dents done here."
Do u also un-dent any dents done here ..just wondering..

7.Outside a hotel:"Plan tea available here!"
Great.. so when are you going to declare your unplanned tea ;)

8.Outside a corner house shop under renovation:"Corner house moved [around the corner]."
Now..was it resting on just one corner or did it just get tired of being in one corner of the corner.???..

9.Outside a studio:"I shoot babies. please call [number] for appointment.Shooting brides also done here".
Someone call the cops.... Freak !!!

10.Now for a very generic one.
"No trespassing.Violators will be shot.Survivors will be shot again."
This one really beats them all !!! I should be shot if i dint laugh after reading this one :) !

I am sure there's more to add to this..but right now this is all that i can remember.. !
More additions welcome..Anything to bring about a smile...
Like they say...
A smile is the only curve which can set everything straight !!!


Saturday, June 20, 2009

A little pie from the bottom of my heart...

A lullaby i have always loved. The one song which has inspired me to learn guitar so that i can sing it to my little ones in perfect tune :). Right now practising this song, to sing for my lil nephew !!
[&Shiff - To Arnon too !]

Dedicating this song to all the cute lil babies around and to all expecting moms as well !

Here is the lyrics for you to Sing-along. Enjoy

When the world is gray and bleak
Baby don't you cry
I will give you every bit of love that's in my heart
I will bake it up into a simple little pie…

Baby don't you cry
Gonna make a pie
Gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle
Baby don't be blue
Gonna make for you
Gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle.
Gonna be a pie from heaven above
Gonna be filled with strawberry love
Baby don't you cry
Gonna make a pie
And hold you forever in the middle of my heart.

Baby here's the sun
Baby here's the sky
Baby I'm your light and I'm your shelter
Baby you are mine
I could freeze the time
Keep you in my kitchen with me forever
Gonna be a pie from heaven above
Gonna be filled with strawberry love
Baby don't you cry
Gonna make a pie
And hold you forever in the middle of my heart.

Gonna bake a pie from heaven above
Gonna be filled with butterscotch love
Gonna bake a pie from heaven above
Gonna be filled with banana creme love

Baby don't you cry
Gonna bake a pie
Hold you forever
Hold you forever
And hold you forever in the middle of my heart.

Friday, May 22, 2009

My Furry First-Born !

Intrigued by the title? Exactly my intentions when phrasing it like that.I am dedicating this post to one naughty little brat of a pup whom i cherish,as my first born.And indeed,he is one big ball of fur.So,i guess the title coudnt be more apt!

Being a dog person [yeah! lately,i even tell my friends to 'SIT' and 'STAY'!An effect of being around my pup so often],i have always dreamt of having a never-extinguishing-energy-ball-of-fur of my own[in case you are wondering,yes i was hinting at having dogs].But, with the frequent shifting between houses and my father's constant refusal to have anything living,with more than 2 legs in the house,i never got a chance to realise my dream of owning a four legged friend.After my persistant nagging,he reluctantly told me that as long as i am living with them under the same roof, i am not allowed to have any dogs around, but when i get to move out, then i am free to live life with my rules.I guess, by this complex statement, he must have meant a very different context, but since i was not very keen on getting the loopholes in that statement clarified, i just picked up the very obvious meaning and finally when i did move in to a seperate house in Bangalore, the very first thing i did was to hunt around for a mutt! Thankfully, Nichu also turned out to be as much a dog lover as i am.So by the end of the first month in Bangalore, we had both decided to get a four legged friend home. I had always wanted a sand colored labrador.But after many consistant refusals from Nichu as to why we shouldn't be getting a big dog home, i finally agreed to settle for any smaller breed [as long as its not a pomeranian..i just cant stand the shrill barks!].

Much googling later,we decided on a cocker spaniel, that too a chocolate brown coloured one. And i never mentioned a word of this to my parents [:)],decided to spare them from the shock untill i got the pet home.So finally on the D-day, February 17'th 2008 [this was a V-day gift me and nichu were gifting ourselves!], we head off to a pet shop and believe me...i never thought i would see heaven before i die, but i am sure that i was stepping into heaven when i first set foot in that pet shop [though yes, a very bad smelling heaven or probably heaven when it has run out of air fresheners!].The place was full of puppies, all breeds and colors and sizes and with their tiny whining voices and crawling all over the place, they were the most adorable pups in this whole world.The first thing to catch my eyes was a sand coloured flat ball on the floor trying to crawl.It was love at first sight! The tiny ball looked up with the most innocent round eyes and when i bent down to pick him up, he gave the tiniest whine at being disturbed from his comfortable position and snuggled back to sleep in my arms.I knew at that moment, that this was the Lab i had waited all my life for! [My parents were hoping that i would be saying this statement referring a human and they kinda totally gave up on me when they realised i was talking about a puppy!].

Very gleefully,with a mission accomplished look i turn towards nichu and aks.Both of them have this 'will-kill-you' look on their faces and at that precise moment,out walks the owner with a dark chocolaty ball of fur in his hands.I was still standing in the corner with the lab in my arms while the other 2 were examining the spaniel puppy and trying to get him to attempt to crawl.Very reluctantly, i was made to hand back the lab pup and i went over to check on the lazy puppy who went off to sleep the minute he had been put down to crawl!

Yeah,lazy! That's how he had looked to me. The small fellah hardly opened his eyes. All he did was keep flopping around and go to sleep. He wasn’t even whining.I give one look at Nichu.I can see that she has decided this is the pup. I hesistatingly kept saying 'He isnt whining, he looks droopy, he looks doped'. All my persistant remarks went unheeded by the two of them.Finally, giving one last heartbreaking look at the still whining lab pup, we walk out from the pet shop, the brown furry ball still sleeping away in my arms!

By the end of the auto journey back home, i must say, the warm furry little thing had managed to creep his way into my heart and the lab puppy was just a faint reminder.

For the next few days,it was a confused frenzy of two new "mom's" trying very desperately to take care of a one month old baby (that's how old he was when we got him home).There was cerelac and milk and biscuits and water strewn all over the place. The puny little fellah managed to creep under every possible nook and corner in the house.Getting him to eat,in the initial days,was a task by itself.We had made the mistake of keeping cerelac mixed in a huge bowl (compared to his size) and we have nearly had to pry him away from the edge of the bowl before he himself fell headlong into the 'cerelac pond'!

The first one month saw me walking around cribbing -the puppy isnt active,the puppy isnt running around,he isnt barking, he isnt whining,he still looked doped and he dint have a tail !!! And oh yes,we named him Hobbes [From Calvin and Hobbes fame! Was hoping that the influence of the name would instill the naughtiness in him and make him active].

And oh lord !! Was i mistaken or what!By the end of second month, what had been a sleepy little doped thing turned out be a 'Vociferous Carnivore' [As Sounak refers to Hobbes!].The transition from a harmless pup to a running-barking-demanding monster was almost instantaneous.

a.What had been a quiet house earlier, now sounded like a raging mad house!
b.His favourite timepass was to scrape off the paint from the wall. So the living room in our house looked like a miniature bull dozer had tried demolishing it off!
c.There is no count to the number of sandals we have sacrificed for his teething days!
d.Every evening, i walked in home, to either see the entire house covered up in shreds and shreds of newspaper and a tiny little brown pup hiding somewhere in the midst of the mess, giving me his most innocent look. Or he would have pulled off every possible thing from the kitchen counter and sitting on top of the water can. One day, he had even dragged the entire garbage bag all over the house and had the house stink like a corporation dump!
e.Barking incessantly, he believed was his birth right!
f.What was termed as 'Taking Hobbes for a walk' turned out to be 'Hobbes taking us for a run'!
g.The families in our lane are so very used to seeing either of us running in the lane screaming out 'Hobbie' at the top of our voices.This is on days, he decides to go off on a run on his own!Some people even pitch in to chase him down shouting out anything which remotely sounds like 'Hobbie'.So most evenings and weekends, see people running around in the lane shouting 'Bobby, Bhaabhi, Habbie' and what not!

He turned out be the world's most naughtiest dog and the most unruly one too! But the little gestures of unconditional love from the puppy heart is enough to melt our hearts and to put up with all his nonsensical deeds! Waking up in mornings and feeling a cold wet nose rubbing against your feet, or getting back from office and seeing an excited puppy prancing all around the house and barking in his doggy language to welcome you home, these are what i call the little joys of life!

Watching the movie 'Marley and me' was like living our life ! We are the proud owners of a dog who has humbled every dog trainer and who still manages to be the same unmanagable irritable furry first born !
PS: The photo is of Hobbes taken on day 2 at our house!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Six Degrees of seperation

Its a really really small world out there isn't it? For those of you who dont agree to it, here's the reason why.
Did you know that every person in this world is at most just six steps away from any other person in this world? Be it a stranger in the United Kingdom or a rocket scientist in the NASA or even Barack Obama, all it takes for you to reach out to them, is to contact at most 5 other people,that too one of whom is a personal acquaintance! Isnt that amazing!This is what the concept of 'six degrees of seperation' is all about.

During my college days, i remember having a discussion on the Will Smith movie 'Six degrees of seperation'. This is when i heard the concept first.Gradually in the events of our discussion, most of us even embarked on the 'Kevin Bacon Game',the goal of the game being to link any actor to Kevin Bacon through no more than six connections, where two actors are connected if they have appeared in a movie together. A very interesting game[especially if played in between boring lecture classes!],but since my vocab with respect to Hollywood films was very minimal then [and even now!], i really failed to find a connection between Amitabh bachan, aamir or SRK to Kevin Bacon [Though a friend of mine very successfully did it!.You dont belive it? Try it.If in doubt, please ask me :)].

Also, apparently, there is this game 'Find Satoshi', where a game company is circulating the picture of a Japanese man called Satoshi and the aim of the game is to - find him! [Obviously..Duh!!]

Well, anyways, moving onto the more important matter. The reason why this post is here. My daily trips to and forth office,in the shuttle,is what i like to call my 'Enlightment time' [:)]. The time of the day where, since i have nothing better to do, i let my mind wander away and recapture or explore its creativity [not that it has too much, but still!].So today, for no particular reason,we[my mind and me] decided to have an iteration of the various faces in my life till date and the result was very very surprising.It's really amazing to realise how small the world has shrunk to. I guess it really takes a lot,in today's world,to lose touch with friends or not to keep in contact with the people around.I have realised that there is no single person i have completely lost touch with.Invariably there is some link around which will take me till there [:)].This is how the topic of 'six degrees of seperation' entered my head and i was very impatient till i reached my seat and researched more on it [;)].

Outcome of research - i have realised that the most complex web, the human web, is the most easiest to be networked and maintained and to be broken too !

Well, end of the day, i guess i am really not freaked off on letting go of people. There is always some link to take me back :).And if not,guess they just arent meant to be found [not my loss :)!].

Right now, i have embarked on finding out my six links to reach the president of United States.Hmmm..or should it be Richard gere..hmmm or Abhishek Bachan..or Suriya..Damn it ! For once i thought i have set my heart on accomplishing something .. and i am still confused !

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Remember to forget me...............

I happened to see Shif's latest post in her blog about her visit to calicut. Never before has the pang of nostalgia struck me such a force.

Do i hear a why?
Well, here's why...

In this big new era of 'nuclearisation' and independent living, the one factor conveniently forgotten by everyone is 'The joy of togetherness,of being one big family'.

These days,for me,being homesick means missing my home and folks at Trivandrum. But, until around 3 years ago, homesick meant, missing the big cool home "Jaya" at Kalliaserry,Kannur. The one lovingly built and nurtured by my grandfather, with the large courtyard around it, the uncountable varieties of trees and plants around. I always used to claim, that even in a famine, the only thing which we might miss at this house is probably milk [since we never had any cows in the house!].But with a garden rich in mangoes, coconuts, pepper, pineapples, chikku,jackfruits,curry leaves, varieties of spinach and chillies, bittergourd, pappaya..and god knows what else, the place was a heaven for living! As kids, our entire summer holidays were spent under the mango tree, waiting to catch every ripe mango falling off it.But this very rarely happened, since we would have already clambered up the tree and pulled off any fruit which looked edible. Nothing beats the fun of climbing up a mango tree,arms laden with salt, red chilli powder mixed with a little coconut oil and picking out the first mango in your reach and enjoying the delicious combination ! [Damn..i wish i never grew up !].

But no,this is not the house which first came into my mind when i saw the pictures in shif's blog. It was my ancesteral house,Tharavadu, which came rushing into my memory. The house where my great grandmother was born and bought up. The place where my grandmother and her siblings grew up. The house was witness to my mother and her sibling's growing years too. Sad to say, my generation was just passing visitors to the house.

A lovely old house,more than 90 years old, built in the traditional kerala style, with not even water connections.A big huge 'kolam' [pond] and the crackling old well was the only means of water supply here.The ladies of the house kept themselves fit by drawing water day in and day out.As kids, we always used to run away and hide since we dint want to do that tedious chore! The 'Chikku' tree in the front of the house had been such a source of joy in the blazing summer heat. The sacred 'Tulsi' always looked so pious in the evenings when the lamps were lit.One could not even see any house anywhere in the vicinity [though, this changed with the effect of 'development'!].It was pitch dark once twilight set in. That is the only time when we kids sit around the elders (scared by tales of ghosts and spirits roaming in and around the house!).Electricity had been a luxury there and it was always one small yellow bulb giving out a tiny bit of glow around the house.

Dusk was the time when old tales sprang up and everyone used to go into peels of laughter,struck with the memories of an era which had gone by. We used to enjoy listening to tales of the heroic and romantic [;)] deeds of our grand-uncles and aunts and our parents! They all had memories attached to each and every day of their growing years and the house was a witness to all of them. The house had stood by to see the cycle of life go by, generations after generations.

In my eyes, my mother had always been the calm,loving,gentle lady i see everyday.But these dusk time stories reminded me that she had once been a little girl too..a little girl who used to do more antics than i did [And i always used these stories as references for my defence in the later days ;)!]

The weirdest thing about the house was that every single room had a particular name - 'Kottalakam','vadakemuri' and so forth.Till date i have no clue which room is which. I always fumbled my way around the house!The puja room was an assortment of pictures of gods and godesses and ancestors and huge lamps and 'basmam'(holy ash).My great-great-grandfather had been a renowed astrologer in those days and the puja room also had his books and 'Ezhuthu ola' [Palm leaves] and other artifacts from his era.The entire house had a musty smell.The old creaking wooden steps leading to the top floor always spooked me out every time. The house was always abuzz with the voices of the people and the rattling of vessels and the screams of the little ones. There was no television or phone to eat away into the precious time, which was used for catching up on the one year that had gone by.

The house had been a witness to a golden era in the history of our family.

That day had been the last day anyone in our family would be stepping foot in that house again.After the house had been ripped away of each and every bit of memory of the MK family, i turned to have one last glance at the house which had given me so many fond memories and i could hear the winds whisper

Remember to forget me …………………………………………...

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Heights of laziness...

Wondering what's with the title? I been wanting to come up with something real nice in my blog,but i am under the effect of my suggestive 'Title',so.............
Happened to be tagged by Ashwin to answer few questions and know myself better. While browsing through..i felt some of the questions pretty intriguing,so figured, why not post it here. Adding my answers to each of those questions too. Hence here goes..

1. Were you named after anyone?
Yeah me..Anyone born after me and named 'Deepthi',obviously they take up after me.. I set the benchmark ! ;)

2. When was the last time you cried?
Errrr...hmmm... 2 minutes ago.. was cutting onions for dinner ;).

3. Do you like your handwriting?
I do... but i am not too sure of what others think of it!

4. What is your favorite lunch meat?
Fish..any kind

5. Do you have kids?
I aint married yet... not a reasonable answer i agree..but nevertheless.. !;)

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
I would probably find a place for myself in another planet. Only i know how much i am struggling to live with myself !

7. Do you use sarcasm?
Try going through my answers and figure it out.I hate to admit my flaws ;)

8. Do you still have your tonsils?
Do i still have my what ?
Since i never knew it existed in the first place, i am sure i wouldn't know it even if its lost!

9. Would you bungee jump?
Life is definitely making me go through a whole lot of bungee jumping ..that too without any safety harnesses.Someone's gotto set the rules right !!

10. What is your favorite cereal?
Anything which has the cute cartoon pictures on the cover !

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Err.. with sandals.. not possible!

12. If you were to pick your own first name, what would it be?
No way ! Are you freaking kidding me ?
This way i atleast get to blame my parents for my first name ;).

13. What is your favorite ice-cream?
AS long as it's ice and cream..i really dont bother about the color!But i hate black current though.. reminds me of having chilled cough syrup!

14. What is the first thing you notice about people?
Shoe, watch,perfume smell and finger nails.

15. Red or Pink?
Can i go with black?

16. Whom do you miss the most?
My mind.. I have absolutely no clue where it has gone to !

17. What are you listening to right now?
My puppy gloriously snoring away!Seriously i never knew that dogs snore..untill i got Hobbes home!

18. Favorite smells?
UDV.. been my perfume for the last 7 years.. cant get over it ;)

19. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My mother.

20. Favorite Foods?
Not a discriminating foodie!

21. Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy movies with scary endings!

22. Summer or Winter?
Summery winters !!

23. Hugs or Kisses?
I am sure this question has been included here for all the single's to woo any probable bait.. I am not falling for it :) !

24. Do you have a special talent?
I myself am a very unique talent and living with myself is the rarest talent i have ever mastered till date!

25. Favorite piece of jewelery?
Now this is definitely a suggestive question.. and i am taking the bait.. Diamond ring !!

26. How did you meet your spouse/significant other?
Really??..I met? when ? How? Who? Where?

Saturday, April 25, 2009

The one last trip.........

Can it really be?

I remember giving a brief look, but i knew i wasnt looking or listening.My mind was searching for the one face which had meant the world to me, among the sea of faces around me. I could faintly hear the cries resound from somewhere but what i distinctly heard was the nadaswaram playing, the laughter of the children, the tinkle of the jewels, the sound of scurrying feet.

I could get the faint smell of agarbathi and coconut oil.

I could also get the distinct smell of jasmine and sandlewood....

They were bringing him....

I could see him walking down the aisle, clad in the traditional white mundu and with the sacred sandlewood paste smeared on his forehead.
We had waited for years for this one day.The one day which marked the culmination of the years we spent understanding each other and loving. We were sure of what lay ahead. And we wanted the blessings of the elders before we embarked on a journey for life.
I remember seeing his teasing smile as i walked in as the shy bride clad in my rich kancheepuram red saree and my head covered with jasmine and clad from neck down in gold.
As i sat down on the 'mantap' near him,I could hear him as he whispered in my ear 'See, i told you would do it'.
I had always claimed i wanted a simple wedding.. and definitely no gold ornaments or kancheepuram sarees.I reciprocated with a glare.

At the auspicious moment,i prayed to all the gods in the skies above as his hands tied the 'thali' around my neck. I prayed to be given the traits to see him smile the way he was then, all his life.

They asked me to get up and come into the room......
One last time... i was told.....

I remember seeing the glee on his face as he picked up our son from my mother's hand.
He said he had planned a surprise for Aditya and me, before Adi enters his first house.

I could hear Adi cry. He must be hungry.I haven't seen him since the last evening.

He was a proud father. My heart also swelled up with pride each time i walk in home from work to see father and son cuddle up and play. It always amazed me as to how a 3 month old could manage to bring so much joy on my husband's face..something i took close to 5 years to know.

5 years, that's how long i have known him. Married for 2 years ...

My prayer's had been answered. I had seen him smile all his life, i had kept him happy all his life... but little did i realise that 'all his life' was a short time.

It was an accident,i was told.

It was just yesterday evening, when he said he was going out and will be back in an hour's time. He reluctantly gave Adi in my arms and went to change.

Inspite of all the agarbathi's and coconut oil lamps burning in the house,i could still smell his cologne, like he was standing right beside me. I could still see the sparkle in his eyes and the smile on his face.

It cant be over. My son will not even have a memory of the proud hands that held him when he was born, nor the look of joy on his father's face when his little finger curled up to hold his finger.

Three people ceased to live from the same moment..................

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Questions for the day !

Why is the first step always the most difficult to take?
Why is that gestures never convey their meanings?
Why is a smile the hardest to be reciprocated?
Why is looking into the eyes the toughest thing to do?
Why are explicitly spoken words the most difficult to be comprehended?
Why are people always evaluated?

Why the heck did i wake up in the morning with these stupid questions????
I knew i shudnt have stayed up so late writing the previous post!!!!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The window seat

To get out of the depression of my last post, here goes one more !

Usually the big trip home for a vacation is endured by long hours of travel in a bus. But this time, for a change, i decided to pamper myself and take the luxury of flight journey both ways!
Talking of flight journeys, i am not a frequent traveller by flight and somehow each journey has always made me very anxious.I still remember my first trip by flight.It was to spend a vacation with my brother and sister in Dubai.Since it was my very first trip,heading all alone to a foreign land,my brother was giving me details on how to go about the formalities in the airport, each time he called. I kept pestering him over every call that he even filled up a word document on how to travel by flight and sent it to me.Finally after hearing my never ending volley of questions, my brother arranged for me alight at the sharjah airport instead of the actual dubai international airport, since he said that he was so sure i would never make it out of the airport if i alighted there(Apparently it's that big!).

Finally on the big day, my father and me started off on the regular routine of the question and answer sesssion and Do's and Do Not's. Do not talk to strangers, Do not accept any packages from strangers, Do not eat or drink anything anyone offers you. Hearing all the talks, my mother just had one comment to add, that she has no fears for me, she just fears for my fellow passengers!

With a mobile phone huddled between my ear and shoulder and my brother on the other end of the call, and with loads of baggage i trudged very bravely into the Trivandrum international airport. Standing at the entrance, i memorised for one last time all the directions that i am to follow and marched ahead. Finally after what seemed like a big ordeal, i somehow made it out to my brother's outstreched arms at the oil rich arab land.
His first question to me was, so how did you enjoy the night lights of dubai? I was dumbfound.What is he asking?I just reached now.What night life is he talking about? Seeing my expression, he asked me..didn't you get to see the night lights when your flight was about to land?
"No, i was sitting in the aisle seat.All i could see was the other passengers in the flight. "
Arrghhh... he says and tells me that he had specifically put me in for the night travel so that i could catch the beauty of lights from high above. I was hurt. I really dint know that you could fight for a window seat, like in our local buses.I made a mental note to make sure that no matter what, i will be by the window seat on my return.

The day to return came almost real soon and i could hardly believe that i had to head back.I was back at the Sharjah aiport again. And this time, while collecting my boarding pass, i put on my most innocent look and flashing my most gracious smile, i ask "Can i get a window seat pleaseeee?" .The person at the counter, takes one look at me, has another look at my passport (Probably trying to reaffirm my age!) returns my smile and hands me my pass to the window seat. My return journey was around 1:30 early morning from Dubai.So my brother had specifically asked me to watch out for the transit from the night sky to the skylight break into its golden glory. I was all excited and on boarding i hurridely rushed to my assigned seat.What do i see? One very very old grandma and her accompanying maid have already taken my seat and the adjoining one leaving only the aisle seat to me.Very graciously i ask them if they got the seats right and the old grandmom gives me look which says 'can't you just sit there and keep quiet', which is exactly what i did.Muttering under my breath and furious at having my window seat taken,i sit grumpy all throught my return journey. I dint even get to see a hint of anything which looked like the sky.

Very soon, i got the chance to relive my dreams of a window seat by the flight again when i got myself booked for the kingfisher flight from Bangalore to Trivandrum.Going through the same old procedure of flashing my most innocent question 'Can i get a window seat pleaseeeee?' [Which is always reciprocated with a questioning look by the other party..wonder why!!], i managed to get a boarding pass which read 10A.Finally my chance to see the sky from close up.I board the flight, rush to my seat and to my dismay see that it is occupied by a gentleman in a very professional business suit. I glance up at the seat numbers written and tell him that i think he is in the wrong seat. He pulls out his boarding pass and tells me his seat is 10B and that he is in the right seat. Very innocently i repeat "Sorry, but A is the window seat and B is the aisle one".Off he starts blaring out," are you trying to tell me? Do you know how many flights i have boarded and travelled in? "Ooops...i was taken aback.I dint expect to be hollered at. I had a good mind to reply to him that probably he has enjoyed many flight journeys, but this is just my third one and that i really wanted the window seat. But well, being the 'Decent and well mannered' [;)] girl that i am, i give in and fuming internally, i give up my window seat for the aisle seat again.Before the flight takes off, he propels what looks like a air pillow against the window and sets himself to doze off. Even before the plane takes off the ground, the only sound i could hear was that of his loud snores [even above the roar of the engine!]. With that dumb pillow blocking whatever little view of the sky i could have had and with his loud bull-dozer snoring sounds,it was everything i could do, not to bang his head against the sides of the plane!

So it was Strike One, Strike Two......and Strike Three ...for my window seat in an aeroplane!

Recently, i again booked myself in for air travel [this time more lavish.. i got them reserved for both ways.. To and fro..BLOR<-> TVM]. Finally, asking the same old question for the third time, i again get a boarding pass which reads some number and an 'A'. I reconfirm with the lady at the counter, if 'A' is really for window seat and she re-affirms it. I had a good mind to record her confirmation reply in my mobile, in case i come across some other jerk this time.The same old ritual again, the same old walk to my seat. And what do i see?.. The window seat.. All mine..waiting for me. I was so elated and looked all around to see if i could express my happiness to anyone around.Unfortunately no one around me looked interested in knowing about my joy on this, so i decided against it and simply settled myself in the seat, took in the scene of the airport through the little small window by my side, fastened my seat belt and smiled gleefully. Finally..i made it!
Just then, a small voice beside me says 'Excuse me'. I turn and look to see a boy who looks to be around 3, a lady [his mom]..and another girl around 5 yrs of age standing beside my seat. The lady looks at me very apologetically and tells me that she is travelling alone with her two kids, and that since it's their first time by flight, both kids want a seat by the window. I could guess the rest of the request. Putting on my most gracious smile, i move aside to make place little kenith.Little did the lady know that i was also as eager as kenny was, to sit by the window.. But i guess, the age and size difference does play a very influential role in such situations. So there went my chance again! But i must say that, even though i dint get to enjoy the window seat, i had a nice flight with kenny by my side. We kept blabbering for the one and a half hr of our flying time.

By now, i had given up all hopes of a window seat and decided not to pursue it any further. The return trip, i just stood like a normal grown up without putting forth any requests. The guy at the counter asks me 'Maam, do you have any seat preferences'?

I reply - Not really. [Point to note : i was travelling back on a wednesday evening]

He replies : 'Maam, the flight is not really full and if you prefer i can put you in for a window seat'!

Aarghh..... Now fate was taunting me!
This is probably why people say, never run behind anything. Stop running and it will eventually catch up with you!!
Once more i board the Jet airways flight with a pass to the window seat.My hopes have risen high again.I reach the seat. A very apologetic looking stewardess is standing by my seat and tells me that, since the flight just landed from Bangalore, there had been a slight 'accident' in the previous journey and apparently, the previous passenger had spilled the lunch package on the seat. It was covered with a white turkish towel.
She asks me "Would you mind sitting in the aisle seat? The flight is not full. I shall check if i can get you a better seat elsewhere".
She walks off.
I shout behind her "Please check for a window seat..................................."
I dint see her for the rest of my journey in the aisle seat.

My 5'th flight trip, my last flight trip till date.
I have decided - The next time i ever board a flight,it is going to be on my own chartered flight, with all the window seats reserved just for me!!!!!

But now when i think about this, i really find this entire incident hilarious. Harsh lesson learnt, no matter how hard i try, unless i am destined for it, i dont get it...........whatever be it. A lesson i will always remember in my life. A lesson which has taught me not to have expectations in life.....

But someday...i really do want to sit by the window seat and see the sky or the moon or the cities below or the deep blue oceans or the snow capped mountains..or atleast the flight's wings......... [;).. i dont really change!!!].

Consistant change

Well, apparently my last post was a bit too 'pinky'.True,it did indeed get a little too mushy and i am definitely not the girl who likes pink,but to sum it up,let's just say that every girl has a feminine side and every guy,...... a rich side to him!! [;)].

Just back after a very refreshing long vacation. Each time i am back from a vacation i always realise that i am more in need of a vacation than when i was when i left for home. Each visit to my home, i decide that this one visit i am just going to sit and loiter around home and be a nuisance to my parents. But invariably, each visit i hardly get to be with them or at home.It's only when i am about to board the bus (For a change, this time it was by air!) that i see my parents face and realise that i dint get to sit home and exchange my stories. That's when i feel the biggest tug at my heart and just want to jump out and head back home.

Each one of visits home had always been like going back down memory lane for me. But this visit was one heck of a shocker for me. On every other vacation,every time i walk in with my bags, the house had always looked the same, as it was 2 and half years ago when i had walked out to set a place for myself in this big big world. I always felt like i was just returning after a day at college rather than coming back from an entirely different state after three to four months.It hardly took me less than five minutes at home to feel like i never left home, like i had always been there all the while. But this when i walked in, my room with the big cot and my computer table and my treasured book collections.. everything was different.The cots had been moved aside and re arranged.My computer which i had always maintained as the centre piece in my room had been moved to one far corner of the room, hardly seen and used.The big huge shelf which held all the books me and my brother lovingly treasured looked like a famine had hit it. One minute in the room and the next thing which i did was shout out 'ammmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaa'!

Frantic my mother came running out from her workplace - the Kitchen. What happened to the cots? Why was my computer table moved aside? Whatever happened to more than half the books in the shelves? All my tinkles,Archies,Chandamama's,Champaks, my enid blyton collections, my brother's war time books, the sidney sheldons,my college reference books,even the lab record books right from school..i never let my mother throw out any book....I have a perfect count of each and every book in that house. Very dramatically i opened my cupboards and even the clothes in there were missing.Instead it was all stuffed with the un-usable items in the house and many stuffed dolls (Thank god they survived!).What happened to all the clothes which were mine.. the ones i grew up wearing?

I was bombarding my mother with a zillion questions all at the same time. And she was just giving me a very quizzical look and looking very surprised.I am sure that for a moment she even thought that i had gone mad. One by one she started giving me answers.

a)You have outgrown all the clothes in there.I have given them away to the maid's kids.

b) The kids in the apartement come asking for books to read or for reference.I let them check and take whatever book they like.

c)No one uses the computer anymore.Why should it take up so much space in the middle of the room?

Noooooooo..i yell. The clothes.They are just mine. Ones i have been wearing for so many years now.My books, my collection,..aarghh..Frustrated my mother leaves the room to resume her work around the house.I am still left in the middle of 'my room'..which held nothing which was mine anymore.I felt like a stranger standing in the middle of nowhere. The room held no signs of the person who grew up in there. I had papers stuck all around the wall near the computer table, my timetables in college, prayers i loved to read, names of my favourite books i need to buy,movies i watched..and even few song's lyrics. None of them were around anymore.

I realised that 'my room' was now just a 'guest room' in my parent's house.The one place in this world where i felt my presence existed.. well i just felt it diminishing.Gradually as the realisation was sinking into me, i felt the pang of the pain that at this stage in my life,i am just really a traveller.The house in bangalore just feels like a temporary phase. Till i settle down into something more permanent in life, everything around me is just a phase.Something for me to think about and ponder over when i am reminiscing in my couch probably 30-40 years later.

The only thing which is ever consistant in life is change.........

Friday, March 27, 2009

Matters of the heart..does it really matter?

So another long weekend ahead..(actually its just a weekend ahead..the one extra day is already over with no big difference). Maybe just one small difference..nichu (my roomie nishmi..lovingly called as 'nichu' by near and dear) got a huge new fridge for our it was cooking curry and steamin hot rice..that too self cooked..speechless!! [;)]..hats off to us.And the fridge has been stocked up with all possible (junk) goodies!

PS: This post is going to be a long please tread onto this only if you have the patience for it.

The day started off pretty much like any other day. Got a bit of great news from mom the first thing in the morning.We came to know more details about the cute little new addition to our family..due in august(Bro and sis are thrilled!)!So it was a loud 'Awwwwwww..chooo chweet' with which,me and nichu began the day.Little did we know that the rest of the day was going to follow suit and either be an 'Awwwww' or an 'Oh crap!!'.

Eventually,after all the hustle-bustle of the day, towards late evening,me and nichu settled down to catch a little television and the first channel we chanced upon was HBO, which was showing the last few scenes of 'Run AWay Bride' guessed it right. The part where Julia Roberts hands over her 'running sneakers' to Richard Gere[He is one handsome man!I simply adore his hair!] and its the cute little long speech she makes while she proposes to him. was a loud long 'Awwwwww' which escaped from both of us and it was pindrop silence in the room till the end of the movie.I presume it was somewhere then that the same thought struck both of us...but we carried on with the silence [Please dont get any wrong ideas!] and proceeded to get the laptop and check out what the rest of the world is doing.So orkut it was and almost simultaneously, it was 'Oh Crap' from both of us.

Now the interesting part..since we both have known each other from college, our friend's lists are pretty much the same. And obviously the updates which we get from our friends are also the same.So moving onto the reason the forbidden words escaped from us. All the updates were either about new wedding photos or new born's photos uploaded..and not just from girls but also from guys who studied with us! [Quoting nichu..'This guy was in my class in fourth std..even he is married!'].

Thats how we started off on the topic on how some people just get so lucky and how unfair life can be to some. Life is indeed strange.Just when you think you are almost there, you realise that it was all just a mirage and that one blink of the eye can take away the entire picture.But for the lucky few, life is a firm portrait, drawn and colored the way their heart desires.

Eventually me and nichu embarked on the topic of the matters of the heart. That's when we talked about some of the romantic proposals we have come across [heard and seen not experienced] and i figured..why not make that the topic for the post of the day.So well here goes....

Story One:
Nichu's sister. Single,lovely, perky and a very successful IT professional in US for the last 5 years.Her fiance-to-be: A handsome, caring IT professional in US.On that lovely morning which was going to change their lives forever, he takes her out to see the new car he has bought. Surprise one, turns out that the car he bought was not for him..but for her..A steel black BMW car!!!!She is totally elated and speechless in the showroom. They are taken out for a test drive and 'chechi' is still not over the surprise of the brand new car she is going to be owning.Out comes a lovely little velvet box which held the most amazing diamond ring ever seen! She was proposed to,in her own,gifted BMW car with that gem.Though despite much persuasion she still refuses to disclose the speech he gave while presenting her with the ring.One sentence reply, if he was able to do all this..just know that the speech was not any less romantic! But me and nichu still believe that she was so taken away by all that was happening that she probably dint get to hear the speech well enough to remember it. All she must have heard was her own heart thumping away!

Just a little advice here though: When you come down to India to meet your relatives with a brand new glittering diamond ring on your finger,never simply put it across as 'Hey..i got a ring', unless you are prepared for the next question as 'Great..where did you get it from? How much did it cost?'. This piece of advice also comes from the lady of this episode.

Story Two:
Actually i cant write much here because i dont know how these two hit off.But i am still mentioning it since at one point of time,i was also involved in it.Yeah..this one is dedicated to my brother.During one of his visits home from his hostel, he walks into my room and tells me that he has won some prize coupon to get stuff from a gift shop and that he wants me to go help him spend it out. Now that's a favour which cannot be refused and i set out happily! I was still in my final year at school and i was glad of the excuse to run away from the board exam preparations!At the gift shop, i was randomly picking up whatever my teenage mind could find interesting and i sensed a little discomfort in my brother.Very slowly he approached me and put forth a request.[It was the month of february].One of his friend wants to get a gift for his lover and that he had assured him that he would be getting it.Now he wanted me to help him select it! Aaaah... little did my brother know that his kid sister was much smarter than he had taken her to be.Finally after much acting(which was just a way of probing to get more details about the girl!), we end up buying a gift. He is on his way back to the hostel.It was all i could do to wait for his next trip home to gather more information.[I was a pesky nosey little sister and very impatient too!].Finally with my investigation skills, i got all the information i needed, even the photo [;[).am smart aint i!].And this piece of information was not disclosed to anyone till the day my brother himself spoke to my parents about it...(which was almost 2 years later)Phew... was such a relief to let out that huge sigh!But like all love stories..they got married.. happily settled..and now expecting their first new member to the family! All through his courting days, i was secretly enjoying taunting him while he desperately tried to keep it a secret.

Simple ground rules:
1.Every lover will have some treasure hidden away. I was always being extra helpful to my brother by offering to empty out his bag and get his clothes neatly packed!I had no intentions of doing either..but it was fun watching him stop me from picking his bag and opening it.
2.I have absolutely no purpose in roaming around the house.I would have been much happier sitting in one place and reading a book.But in those days with no mobile phone and just fixed line connections, it was an added pleasure to make my presence felt in the room when he is desperately trying to catch up on a few words with her through the phone.

More ground rules will be shared later!

Story 3:
Nichu's cousin sister and the guy she had been dating for a while.They had been out on dinner's for many occassions and there was no reason for her to think that this dinner would be any different or special. So the dinner to BBQ Nation was just another casual outing for Tina. In the middle of the dinner,Orijith [AKA ori] presented her with a booklet tied with a ribbon.She was taken aback and little angry on having her nice dinner interrupted [come on..dinner is not the time to be reading books!]. Reluctantly she accepts the book and opens the ribbon and comes to the first page.It's a photo album filled with pictures taken right from the day-1 of their meeting.Each photo in it was special and Ori had made it even more special by adding his comments to each one of them. By the time she was near the end of the book, she was in near tears. But when she turned to the last page and read what was written there, she could not stop the tears from flowing!

Quoting : "All the pictures in there was to show what you mean to me and how our life will be together.There really is no other reason or way to tell you that i want to spend the rest of my life with you..will you marry me?" [Sighhh...Awwwwwwwwwww]

And tied to the edge of the last page in a red ribbon was the most amazing ring ever!.Even before Tina could finish her 'Yes'..out walks in their families applauding the new couple.It was one big family union and a very special moment for Tina and Ori.The fairy tale wedding took place shortly and the couple lives happily ....

By the time, we reached the end of this discussion, me and nichu were almost done with 'Awwwwwww'.

It's a pretty long post and if you are still reading this, i really thank you!
Maybe you dont need a creative proposal to invite someone to share the rest of your life with you,maybe all it takes is just one little gesture or word.But then again, like how me and nichu concluded our discussion..One has got to be really lucky and destined for it!
Else....everything is just a mirage....................

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Confessions of a confused soul .......

Yeah.. you guessed it right..pretty much at my wits end and really really bored in the weekend. My roommate has gone to trivandrum for the weekend as her parents are celebrating their wedding anniversary today.So it's just me and hobbes at home. [For those of you who dont know..hobbes is our one year old cocker spaniel!].I think he has figured out that i am bored,since i gave him a one hour long bath yesterday and he absolutely hates me for it!

So what is it that people like to express in a blog? Is it all philosophical stuff?Emotional stuff? practical events?

I write when i am uncomfortable or bored or when i am confused or really elated.This is when my mind starts conjuring up all the weird possible words and phrases and the most illogical connections.Most people i know, remain quiet when they are uncomfortable.Me on the other hand, i blabber absolutely non stop. The only place where this has helped me is when i am facing a crowd and giving some presentation.

For all my college classmates,i am sure my final year seminar presentation is something they will never ever forget.The topic was 'Bit Torrents'[i guess it's not even spelled like this!]. And till date i have no clue as to what it means or does. A friend of mine helped in preparing the PPT's and all the other related documents. My only duty was to stand up on the dias and pull it off.On the D-day, i clambered to the platform which will decide my being an engineer or not[the presentation accounted for almost a 100 marks, if i am not wrong!], put on my most innocent and intelligent look and started off with my best accented english in full speed.All i knew is that,i wasnt the one speaking.The only thing i remember saying is a 'Good Morning' and somewhere half an hr later 'Any questions'.

Off started the techies of the class bombaring me with questions of which i could only understand the words how,why, where. The rest was all greek and latin to me!Now i was no longer embarrased or uncomfortable.I was just plain scared and now my mind refused to do the talking part. It had deserted me,leaving me all alone to take up the repurcursions of its half an hour speech (Traitor!!).The first three questions were somehow handled with my best possible demeanour, but for the next few questions which came up my way, i gave my worst looking glare [Which thankfully was missed by the professor who was sitting to rank me].Hilarious on seeing my state and feeling considerably sorry for me, my classmates decided to spare me from further agony and started off with the applauses.After the seminars for the day was over, a friend of mine came up to me and said 'I do hope that you realise that whatever you spoke there, was in no way related to your topic and that you have left us more confused than we were when you started off'.I gave my most sheepish grin and prayed profusely that the professor dint realise this.In the end, it did so happen that since my seminar was in the middle of 6 seminars, it was kinda not heard so seriously which is why i am an engineer today (I got good marks for the presentation!).

Moral of the story - If you can't convince them...confuse them!!!

This was 3 years ago and i have come a long way from there. Atleast,now i know that quality of words matter than the quantity spoken. But i guess somewhere i am still that confused umcomfortable girl who starts blaberring the minute she senses something amiss from the ordinary!This trait of mine has accounted for most of my friends laughing their lungs out...and putting me in the most sticky situations possible.. But what the's not me making them laugh..its my mind...!!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Thought for the day ......

If looks could kill, i have been dead a thousand times.........!
More than the spoken words, the unspoken actions confuse me!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Wrist watches or Watch wrists??

So,back with a bang ! Let me just say, was not in the mood to write and express anything for quite some days.But today's journey back from office, it was magical ! Had a late start in the evening from office, so the journey started off, with the sun all ready to bid farewell and a cool breeze flowing, with the added hint of a rain..magical would be an understatement.Added to it, i was listening to this one tamil song which has been caught in my mind for quite some time now.The magic of SPB's voice ringing in my ears from my mobile.. i am still not quite sure if i was singing out loud [i got a few weird looks from my colleagues in the bus when i got up to disembark from the bus!]. Totally taken away from the present. One of the few moments in my life when i loved the silence in my head and lived in the present. After this exhilarating experience, i have gotten into this mood to speak something out. well here goes...

But write that's a big question. Nature? Rain? Romance? Nope i am not the person to write about all those [:)]. I will only kill whatever magic rests in those words. So yes i will go for a topic which is going to pull me out of this enthralling feeling and get me back on my feet!

Hmmm.. this is going to be one ridiculous post...cause i am not getting anything sensible to write about! So i am going to dedicate this post to time. The time on my right wrist !

So what's the big deal if you wear your watch on your left wrist or the right? or dont wear one at all.This might seem impossible. For instance, my father is one person who can never do without a watch on his wrist. From the time i can remember, even before my father comes for breakfast, be it a holiday or a week day, his faithful titan watch is strapped onto his left wrist. And this is never taken off till he goes to sleep. I started off my journey with time,with my first digital watch [i just cant recall the brand name :(]. My first watch, black with a pink digital display,gifted to me when i was seven. [Though all these years with a watch by my side has done nothing to improve my punctuality!].Then,the many stints in my life with time, progressed with different brands and colors of watches. Gradually i realised that watches are an obsession with me. Till date, first few things i notice on people are their watch, shoes and finger nails ;).Trust me, they speak volumes about people [so far never been wrong there!].

Eventually, i wanted to be different in my watch craze and around the age of twelve, i started wearing my watch on my right wrist.Must admit,being a right handed person, i struggled quite a bit to get it strapped onto my wrist properly.But this was just for the intial few days. Till my college days, my fancy watches have been sincerely on my right wrist,until one day when a friend refused to talk to me cos of the watch in my right hand. Pretty disturbed, i asked her why it should bother her so and prompt came the reply that - people who wear watches on their right wrists are stubborn and arrogant and with an attitude.Now i was intrigued! Attitude, yes probably.Because what initially started off as a crazy fancy to be different and cool, over the years, built some kind of comerade-ship in me.When i see people who had watches in their right wrist, i felt a sense of oneness, a feeling of being out of the ordinary[;), indeed yes, i outgrew this,before long].But at that time, to pacify my friend i tried surviving with my watch in my left hand and it was the worst few days of my life i tell you ! I always believed that appearances and attire dosent make a person, but harsh lesson learnt...wrists and watches do!!!! Till date i could never find any logical explanation for it, but to cut short the story.My watch is back where it belongs - My right wrist!!!

And i dont know if a right wristed watch makes a person stubborn and arrogant or whether a left handed one makes a person cool and great.. all i know is .. i am happier with time in my right hand! And so leaving behind the obsession of wrists and watches and moving onto just watches...i live on !!!

AAhhh..feet finally back on ground.. Its 12:15 am on a friday morning and i am wide awake.. If i wasnt so scared of the dark, i would probably be out enjoying the downpour and the cool breeze..But for now i am trying to get a wink of sleep so that i dont end this week on a sleepy note... yawwnnnnnnn!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

You call it attitude?

Then wait till you meet me !
I have an attitude and i know how to use it !!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

In the Limelight

Yeah.. to the topic most widely talked about topic today.. Oscars !!!!
Was doing a research on it ... So india bags 6 this time !! The masters are at it again.
Sat down to make the above picture immediately. Heath Ledger.. I had a good mind to fly all the way and fire away at all the jury members had they not given the oscar to him !! One talented actor.. and i was pretty shocked on seeing that he was infact a very handsome young man[;)].But a sad ending.
The music genius 'A R Rahman', wonder how he gets all this creativity. My latest obsession-Slumdog's songs and Delhi 6 songs. Though must add, while slumdog qualified as the best ever movie, Delhi-6 has proved to an utter disappointment. The few good aspects of the movie are the songs,the song choreography and fcors Abhi!!!. I whiled my time away oogling at the fellah in the big screen because the story and the direction was really down in the dumps !! Had such high hopes on the movie [:(]. Loved abhi in the 'Gendaphool' song ! He looked very cool doing the head bangs!!! The best ever [:)]!!
Resul pookutty.. He comes from kerala. Really a proud moment ! Sorry no offence people, no distinction between kerala and india,but still,somewhere..deep down.. must say..just a teeny-weeny little bit !

All's well that ends well. Hearty congratulations to all the winners!

Kinda sad that Brad Pitt dint make it. Splendid previews of the movie. Next watch 'The curious case of Benjamin Button'.

And yes people, another must watch movie Wall-E. The cutest ever !! Loved it.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Irony or Destiny

I am the last person to be discussing anything of grave importance in my blog .I had intended this blog to be a place where i can share my experiences with a humorous perspective. Guess, in this society, it is totally unnatural to be quiet and not mention it when you see it happening all around you.

Inspiration for bringing out this serious side of me in my blog - .
The above link had been forwaded to me by a friend and was the first mail i read when i returned to my seat after a scrumptious lunch. Must say, the food digested almost immediately and for the first time in my life, i could feel a rage in me which i never knew existed in me. And for the first time in my life, i have started seeing my country as what it does not deserve to be seen as, but sadly is perceived as, around the globe. I always had a curtain in front of my eyes and like any other indian with the basic comforts of life, refused to lift the curtain and see the pathetic state we are in.

Day in and day out, every image which passes my way are constant reminders of the degraded state we are in. Just a gentle walkthrough of one day in my life and i am sure all of you will agree with me.

7 AM -
After much rushing and struggling, i rush to catch my office shuttle which comes nearly half a km from my house. The minute i step out of my house, the first scene to catch my eye every day is that of a garbage collection trolley with around 4 to 6 bins stacked on it, around the corner. The first few times i saw it, i never gave it another look.But one day, something amidst the bins stirred and i presumed it was a stray dog ransacking the leftovers.But to my horror and shock, when i neared the trolley, i could see two human kids, one a girl, around 4 yrs of age and the other a baby hardly 6-8 months of age. I was frantic and it was a rush of many thoughts in my head .Were these kids abandoned? Are they just lost? what are they doing in a garbage collection trolley? While i was trying to sort out the situation in my head, i saw a lady dressed in the 'corporation uniform' approach with a fresh load of stacked bins and she just lifted the baby and kept the bin there. After much thinking, the only logical connection i could manage was that, she is the mother and since she dint want to leave the kids alone, she took them along while she attended to her work.After that, i see them everyday.The little girl has become familiar to the locality and instead of sitting in the trolley looking at her baby brother, she has started venturing out and exploring the area. A gentle smile is what i offer her and she reciprocates with her scared eyes and firmed mouth.

7:10 AM -
Finally i have managed to reach the designated place where i board my office shuttle. With still over 5 minutes for the bus to arrive, i stand to take in my morning surrounding. The same set of corporate employees waiting for their conveyance, the same employee clearing out and cleaning the vodafone office for the day's rush, the same cobbler setting up his stall. Everything was same, until that day, when we all heard a small voice shouting out 'Chaiii'. Almost immediately, every corporate head out there turned to look in the direction of the little voice. A young boy who looked hardly 7, carrying a big packet of paper cups and a huge flask, was running towards our direction. The little boy approached every single person there and repeatedly asked to buy a cup of coffee.All the heads which had turned in his direction, immediately became occupied in either tuning into whatever stations their mobile headfones could get or back to reading the morning newspaper. One gentleman, i saw, was starting up a conversation with the little kid and was buying the cup of tea [Which,by the way, cost only 3 rs a cup]. As the kid approached us, me and my friend, tried to talk to him in whatever little broken kannada we could manage. I guess he figured we would be interested in buying the tea and he was busy pouring out two cups,heedless of our 'Kanglish' questions. The earlier gentleman, seeing our struggle, came forward and was giving us the answers. He was 'Kamal', 9 years, attended school for a year[apparently sometime long ago], his father had passed away, his only family was his mother and younger sister. Mother was working as a household help somewhere and was recently taken ill. So little kamal was helping his mother in treating his mother's illness and his sister to attend school. Mornings and evenings he worked serving tea and the rest of the day, he apparently engaged in whatever odd jobs he could get. When asked what these odd jobs were, he replied in kannada and our friend translated it to mean that he worked in carrying loads at the flyover worksites or in any other construction site. Even with the cup of hot tea in my hand, i could barely control the chill which ran through me.
Glad to notice, that on almost every mornings after that, whether required or not, the bus-waiting employees buy one cup of tea from little kamal.

8:00 AM -
On the way to my office in whitefield, there is this one strech of road after the CMR institute of technology where the traffic is really blocked and every vehicle comes to a standstill for about 5-10 minutes around 8 in the morning. Alongside this road, there is this group of people who have set up some ayurvedic camp,a little distance away is a group of people who display their clay articles for sale,further away is a cluster of cane furniture kept for sale and still further are people running small shops which serve food. It was amidst the cane furnitures that i saw him for the first time. Head bent over in deep concentration, hands nimbly running in and out tying up the cane sticks to weave out a cane chair. Our bus was caught in traffic and i was admiring the way in which that small fingers was very deftly creating something very beautiful.It became almost a regular routine to see the little artist caught in some work or the other every morning. One morning it was a paper mache ganapthy that he was creating while the next day it was a lovely painting on a clay pot. On that unfortunate morning, while our bus was caught in the usual traffic in the usual place, i could see that our little artist dint have any creativity to be engaged in and since his mind was free, he was glancing at all the vehicles stuck in traffic. Slowly as i watched, i could see that his head was turned to his left and he was constantly staring at something. On following his glance, i could see that it was a white Honda Civic car with its black windows rolled up,which had caught his attention. The car had been parked in the side and the driver of the car was having breakfast at one of the small shops close by, while enjoying a chat with the other people around. The little boy slowly rose from his place and was moving towards the car. I could see him as he walked towards the car and stood by it admiring it. As he raised his hands to run his fingers over the magnificient car, out of nowhere, the driver and his accomplices who were eating,were by his side and hurling heavy blows on the little kid. Lot of shouting in kannada and more blows on the puny figure. As my bus started to move, the last i saw of the little artist, was a mud covered puny figure sprawled on the floor and a bunch of huge men bent over him. What was the mistake that the little boy did? That he was losing out on his childhood by working and earning a living? All the days i had seen him there, i had never seen any adult anywhere near his vicinity. While other boys his age went to school and played with expensive toy cars, was this kid deprived of even letting his talented fingers marvel another man's creation? His reward for the endless hours he spent creating all those marvelous artificats was to be pelted by people who dint know him for the artist that he was. Sad to say, from the next day onwards, i dint see anymore clay artificats lining the road or any cane chairs either. I cannot help but wonder of the little artist.

8 to 5 is the time i am in the cool comforts of my office and with like minded people, the time of the day when i forget the scenes of the mornings.
By the time i board my shuttle at 5 in the evening for the long journey back home, i prepare myself to savour the 1 and half hr of the day i get for myself.

It is around 6:15 when we reach the Sony world signal near koramangala. I am sure this is a very common sight for most people stuck in bangalore traffic. Small, petite,nimble figures with huge rings running in the traffic to find a little gap, where they can start their performance. While one kid branded with a 'Dholka' starts beating to some random tune, the other kid, usually a girl around 3-4 yrs of age, deftly displays her nimbleness by moving in and out of the ring. As soon as the traffic starts moving, these kids run in and out of the moving vehicles to see if anyone has taken pity on them and give them money. On one such incident, when i was about to hand out some money to the little girl, my friend gently reprimanded me and told me to keep the money back in. Instead she took out a packet of biscuits which she had and handed it out to the kid. Even though she dint mention it, i understood her gesture. These kids perform and get the money, but they hardly get a rupee's worth at the end of the day.

I am not proud of myself for being a witness to all these incidents. Nor am i happy about the fact that i couldn't do much to alter the lives of these little ones who unknowingly came to be a part of my life. But today i see that, not just kids, but every human out here is under the threat. Threat to be subordinate to someone else with money or power, threat of losing all your live's worth in a single act either by mother nature or the other forces around which rule us. No man makes his destiny. No man lives his life's worth. Is it just really so bad in our country? Even in the dire economic crisis in the world today, i see that atleast human life has value in other countries. It is only here that no life is valued, no voice is heard, no act is returned. It is just a mad rush for god-knows-what and to win a race of which no one is a part and the end is not known, nor is there a prize to be won at the end.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Red Day

Valentine's day, V-Day, day when the heart bleeds to express your love, the culmination of endless hours and money spent on getting the perfect gift to make sure that your loved one cannot refuse the proposal...This is valentine's day for all !
But do you know how this magical day came to be celebrated?

Apparently this day is celebrated in memory of St.Valentine. So how did a priest become responsible for young lovers to fall in love? Weird isnt it. .

Well, One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men — his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.According to this legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl — who may have been his jailor's daughter — who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure.

This is just one among the many legends which makes february the most romantic month of the year. Nevertheless, in today's era, how many of us actually remember this saint and decide to celebrate this day in his honor? From the time i can remember, this has been the day guys dreamt of, to show their friends that the girl of everyone's dreams actually heard out his proposal or for girls to bet with their friends that the cutest guy around would propose her first. [author's note - This is not from my personal experience. [;)] This is just what i have heard.]

To make things worse, we have activists claiming this celebration against the culture. So is getting 'engaged' against the culture? Dosen't indian culture allow two human beings to express their love for each other (I like to choose my words carefully to ensure that i have covered every aspect of life.Hence i quote 'two human beings' and not 'girl and a boy' [;) again]).

Well, i am definitely not the person to discuss grave issues. It is all i can do to get past my day, everyday. So i am not prolonging this post.

One more big red day passed. One more year older. And sob sob, all the roses and chocolates in the world seemed to have missed my address! The only male companion around for V-day was my puppy. And since he was being given a bath, he figured it was some special day and hence filled my day with his frantic barks and tantrums! So much for lovers day !!!!

But for all you young lovers out there...Live life king/queen size ! You neednt wait for a V-day or for some other saint to express his love, for you to let your love be known. Make every day a valentine's day.. Make it your day !! Romeo and Juliet became famous, salim and anarkali did too.. you never know.. someday you could make your names also world famous .Just one sincere suggestion though - Please make yourself famous with some romantic gestures.Till date i could never figure out how, consuming poison and killing oneself will make a romantic heroic couple [no offence to literature lovers.]I would have loved it if they had just eloped and lived happily ever after.

Enjoy life... Enjoy love.....!!

Ps: Me.. I am grateful for all the wonderful people in my life today and i say 'Love ya all'!!!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

If You Are Not The One..

If you’re not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand at all?

I'll never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with.

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you, then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you, then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me, then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me, then why do I dream of you as my life?

I don’t know why you’re so far away.
But I know that this much is true
we’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with.
And I wish that you could be the one I die with.
And I pray that you’re the one I build my home with.
I hope I love you all my life…………

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you, into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today.
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side.

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms........

-Daniel Bedingfield.
Mood for the day - Depressed [ :( ]