Confessions of a confused soul .......

Yeah.. you guessed it right..pretty much at my wits end and really really bored in the weekend. My roommate has gone to trivandrum for the weekend as her parents are celebrating their wedding anniversary today.So it's just me and hobbes at home. [For those of you who dont know..hobbes is our one year old cocker spaniel!].I think he has figured out that i am bored,since i gave him a one hour long bath yesterday and he absolutely hates me for it!

So what is it that people like to express in a blog? Is it all philosophical stuff?Emotional stuff? practical events?

I write when i am uncomfortable or bored or when i am confused or really elated.This is when my mind starts conjuring up all the weird possible words and phrases and the most illogical connections.Most people i know, remain quiet when they are uncomfortable.Me on the other hand, i blabber absolutely non stop. The only place where this has helped me is when i am facing a crowd and giving some presentation.

For all my college classmates,i am sure my final year seminar presentation is something they will never ever forget.The topic was 'Bit Torrents'[i guess it's not even spelled like this!]. And till date i have no clue as to what it means or does. A friend of mine helped in preparing the PPT's and all the other related documents. My only duty was to stand up on the dias and pull it off.On the D-day, i clambered to the platform which will decide my being an engineer or not[the presentation accounted for almost a 100 marks, if i am not wrong!], put on my most innocent and intelligent look and started off with my best accented english in full speed.All i knew is that,i wasnt the one speaking.The only thing i remember saying is a 'Good Morning' and somewhere half an hr later 'Any questions'.

Off started the techies of the class bombaring me with questions of which i could only understand the words how,why, where. The rest was all greek and latin to me!Now i was no longer embarrased or uncomfortable.I was just plain scared and now my mind refused to do the talking part. It had deserted me,leaving me all alone to take up the repurcursions of its half an hour speech (Traitor!!).The first three questions were somehow handled with my best possible demeanour, but for the next few questions which came up my way, i gave my worst looking glare [Which thankfully was missed by the professor who was sitting to rank me].Hilarious on seeing my state and feeling considerably sorry for me, my classmates decided to spare me from further agony and started off with the applauses.After the seminars for the day was over, a friend of mine came up to me and said 'I do hope that you realise that whatever you spoke there, was in no way related to your topic and that you have left us more confused than we were when you started off'.I gave my most sheepish grin and prayed profusely that the professor dint realise this.In the end, it did so happen that since my seminar was in the middle of 6 seminars, it was kinda not heard so seriously which is why i am an engineer today (I got good marks for the presentation!).

Moral of the story - If you can't convince them...confuse them!!!

This was 3 years ago and i have come a long way from there. Atleast,now i know that quality of words matter than the quantity spoken. But i guess somewhere i am still that confused umcomfortable girl who starts blaberring the minute she senses something amiss from the ordinary!This trait of mine has accounted for most of my friends laughing their lungs out...and putting me in the most sticky situations possible.. But what the heck...it's not me making them laugh..its my mind...!!