Thursday, November 1, 2012

See Paris for me...

I turned back to give one last look at the magnificient lighted up Eiffel tower in front of me and I could feel the beauty of it spell bound me again. I was finding it hard to fight back and pull myself away from its overwhelming aura. My teary eyes made it impossible to keep looking at it for long.

I was here to live a dream. And it's now no longer in the bucket list. Time for me to drag my bags and head away.

I pulled out the faded crumpled paper and that was the last check in it. Last destination - crossed and complete. End of a lifetime's dream.

' So you promise to marry me ? '. The 18 year old me was excited and bubbly.

'Yes My dear. Absolutely'. He had replied.

'I want to tour the world. Do you promise to take me? I want to see Paris, Italy, sit in the gondola in Venice, ski in Switzerland, have waffles in Belgium, stuff myself with donuts and cheesecake from USA, pluck a maple leaf in Toronto and honeymoon in Seychelles. Can you do all this for me'?

At that age, these were what appealed to me about marriage.

Without the slightest hesitation, he promised me every single thing I wanted. A roof over my head, a hand to hold when we walked, a hug to cheer me up,a good night kiss every night, a house bustling with family and friends.. he promised me my every wish.

In return, I assured him to be the ideal wife, daughter-in-law and a mother anyone would be proud of.

And then we grew up.....

....Or maybe just he did.

Cause I still hung onto the promises made to me when I was 18.

At long last, when we did finally tie the knot, I waited for him to surprise me and start living the dream built over the years.

I waited for years for the Seychelles honeymoon he promised.

My extended hands were left unheld, until at last they decided to stay where they were to, by my side, hanging listless and unheld.

The good night kisses I blew out into the darkness remained haunting.

Paris, Italy and the gondola's in Venice remained cut-out's from magazines in my albums.

Now at 62, when I finally made it to my honeymoon, I refused to let my spirits die cause I was travelling alone and had lived alone. I had made it. So what if there was no husband to capture my photographs while I lived my every dream. The memories were imprinted in my memory for ever.

I wasnt a bride without a honeymoon. I was the bride who lived her honeymoon 34 years after her wedding.... by herself.

After all, somebody had to listen to my heart. She had whispered 'See paris for me...'