Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Dead or Divorced

I thought ‘Death’ meant the end of life as we know it. But apparently there is one more ‘D’ letter word which also technically denotes the end of life – ‘Divorce’.

            - Oh my god ! She is divorced and still on Facebook?
            -  Oh dear lord ! She is listening to music and raving about it?
            - She is still blogging?
            - She is still working and going out where people gather?
            - Why is she dressing up?
            - Why does she have a smile on her face?

This is just a sample of what comes your way if you are out of a marriage.

 Well, excuse me my dear ignorant human beings. But when someone gets a divorce, technically, they don’t slash off their eyes, ears or limbs. They pretty much still let us go out as the people we walked in. So I am still alive, breathing and very much capable of seeing, hearing, understanding and sometimes even participating in what goes on around me.

Just because my marriage didn't work out, don’t make me an outcast. I am still the same breathing walking talking person that I used to be. Probably a bit more wiser and maybe heartbroken too, but still the same person.

It takes two to make or break a marriage. Why is the girl always the scapegoat?

A 5 year old is raped, it’s the girl’s fault.
A marriage breaks, it’s the girl’s fault.

For heaven’s sake, give me a break ! 
If you cannot stand my updates on Facebook, get yourself knocked out of my list. I have absolutely no complaints. In fact I couldn't be more thankful !

I have a life and I have people who care for me and are worried about me and want to see me happy. I intend to live for them. It’s the least I can do.  I cannot live my life in a shell.

So, one marriage dint work out. For someone like me who believed that, to be married and settled is the ultimate aim in life, this was a huge eye opener. No. Life doesn't end with a marriage nor does it end with the termination of one. For people who find this concept preposterous, please feel free to borrow my shoes and walk in them. If you can get as far as I have, you have my respect and you have every right to judge me. But if you don’t, then shut your freaking mouth and stay away from me.

It is not easy being a single girl working away from family and dear ones. And now not possible all the more so, cause I don’t have a husband. Do you know what all goes into maintaining a home? Do you know how increasingly difficult it is to achieve all these despite being a girl? Do you even remotely understand how important and necessary it is for a girl to maintain her dignity and self respect and yet still have a social face and life? Do you know what it is like to be living a life where you are judged, scorned and looked down upon at every single day?

 If you have the answers to any of these questions, well then I guess you should have a fair idea of where I am coming from.

I am human.  Once was a mistake, but don’t judge me because of it. I will never regret or apologize for what happened. I will also never stand being taken for granted. I was never a feminist. Don’t make me one. 

I still believe there are a few good men out there and I respect them for the wonderful job they are doing in taking care of the women in their life. And yes, I envy those women too. I will be honest about it. But there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

I have no idea what the message of this post of mine is. But it’s just a vent of my frustration at this point.

I just need the right to live, like every other regular girl on the face of this earth.. with a smile on my face and a tomorrow to look forward to.  Don’t come around ruining it for me. If you cannot help me, so be it. Don’t pull me down. Just let me be.


keerthi said...

Well said gal!
Luv d part where u suggested to borrow ur shoes and walk a bit before judging...!!

Just keep writing...

Deeps said...

Thanks dear! It's a simple fact which most people around miss to see or understand. I mean, how difficult can it be to stop being judgmental!