Sunday, June 8, 2014

20's something Vs 30's me

'Deeps, You are like a second hand 1100 Nokia handset now. I mean, maybe some people might prefer it for, you know, reasons like you remind them of a past they enjoyed being in, but 99% of the crowd prefers the new generation cloud phones with all the frills and fancy attachments. Even if you try an upgrade now, say by working out and losing all that fat you gained by your emotional binge, it's definitely not going to make you into an iPhone5. Face it, your options and choices are very limited and I say you just head for the first recycle center you see and just be content with it. Don't aim for true love or happiness anymore. Leave that to the iPhones and galaxy tabs'

I usually never quote any conversations in my blog, but this one particular conversation is being used here word by word because I couldn't get over the absurdity in it. The context being, a well meaning friend advising me on giving marriage a second shot. I must admit, I have to give it to her for the well constructed analogy. But the actual content of the conversation left me numb for a long time and then just gave me a reason to write up another blog post, back to back!

She did get me thinking though. Am I really that low in the desirable market now? I do know that on this side of the 30's, the choice of available single men who are not commitment phobes or rapists or murderers or mamma's boy is drastically low. And to be honest, if a man was past 30 and still single, I would have my doubts about him too, obviously! And if he turns out to be a decent one for that matter and maybe even ready to commit, that would only exponentially increase my suspicions about him. I wouldn't think of it as a stroke of my good luck. I would only be more focused on trying to understand why any other woman hadn't gotten to him before!

So I guess on the other side of the 30's, there is no concept of true love or romance. It is all about trying to make best of what is available and fervently hope that the one you land up is not going to rape, kill or abscond with your savings ! Whats scarier is the fact that this apparently appears to be the mutual consensus.

That's not a pretty picture for the future, especially for a die-hard romantic like me. I mean, I still expect to be swooned away magically by 'The one', because hey, I just got myself freed from the wrong one so that I am ready when he gets along. And if I am going to have to ask him questions on terms like 'Have you ever been convicted of rape or murder' instead of 'Will you get me flowers and hold my hands when we walk', I think I am in for some serious trouble !! I am still waiting for my dream proposal. And this time, I wanted to make sure that it's the guy who is going to propose me !

I guess the 20's something iPhones certainly have their lives in a better place. And I wasted that entire decade of my life figuring out how I can do everything wrong so that I screw up my 30's,40's and 50's. Brilliant planning I say !

God ! Just don't let me be taken to a recycle center.

And my dear friends - this is precisely the reason why I never answer your phone calls or reply to your emails. Because if this is the kind of inspirational jabber you think will help me back on my feet, I guess you just don't know me well enough.


Spaceman Spiff said...

Why do we need the approval of a man? Why do we give so much of importance to a relationship? Is it really the be all and end all of life? SO what if you don't find the one? Does that mean the other wonderful things in your life become obsolete? I don't mean to be rude, but I honestly don't believe that it is the end of the world if you never get married again. Sure, companionship is a good thing. It is important too. But I think there is more to you, and to every woman, than just a spouse. A partner should complement you, not define you.

Ok, enough gyaan/feminism for now. :) I for one do not think you are "recycle material". Your friend, on the other hand, needs to recycle her f*%^&$g brain.

Deeps said...

'A partner should complement you, not define you'. I loved that. Now try saying this to the rest of the society and convince them that a 30+ single female making decent salary in a gorgeous country does not need an alpha male to be in her life for her to feel complete. She can be totally enjoying her life just the way it is...And you will be doing me the biggest favor in the world :)! Right now, the fear is contagious. It keeps coming down to me from the rest of the society around me.

Thanks for dropping by Ammu. Good to hear from you !

Spaceman Spiff said...

I can understand... For all my bravado, I went and got married when society decided that "it is time". I am happy with the guy I married, but I can't help but wonder what else I could have done with my life...