Can it really be?
I remember giving a brief look, but i knew i wasnt looking or listening.My mind was searching for the one face which had meant the world to me, among the sea of faces around me. I could faintly hear the cries resound from somewhere but what i distinctly heard was the nadaswaram playing, the laughter of the children, the tinkle of the jewels, the sound of scurrying feet.
I could get the faint smell of agarbathi and coconut oil.
I could also get the distinct smell of jasmine and sandlewood....
They were bringing him....
I could see him walking down the aisle, clad in the traditional white mundu and with the sacred sandlewood paste smeared on his forehead.
We had waited for years for this one day.The one day which marked the culmination of the years we spent understanding each other and loving. We were sure of what lay ahead. And we wanted the blessings of the elders before we embarked on a journey for life.
I remember seeing his teasing smile as i walked in as the shy bride clad in my rich kancheepuram red saree and my head covered with jasmine and clad from neck down in gold.
As i sat down on the 'mantap' near him,I could hear him as he whispered in my ear 'See, i told you ...you would do it'.
I had always claimed i wanted a simple wedding.. and definitely no gold ornaments or kancheepuram sarees.I reciprocated with a glare.
At the auspicious moment,i prayed to all the gods in the skies above as his hands tied the 'thali' around my neck. I prayed to be given the traits to see him smile the way he was then, all his life.
They asked me to get up and come into the room......
One last time... i was told.....
I remember seeing the glee on his face as he picked up our son from my mother's hand.
He said he had planned a surprise for Aditya and me, before Adi enters his first house.
I could hear Adi cry. He must be hungry.I haven't seen him since the last evening.
He was a proud father. My heart also swelled up with pride each time i walk in home from work to see father and son cuddle up and play. It always amazed me as to how a 3 month old could manage to bring so much joy on my husband's face..something i took close to 5 years to know.
5 years, that's how long i have known him. Married for 2 years ...
My prayer's had been answered. I had seen him smile all his life, i had kept him happy all his life... but little did i realise that 'all his life' was a short time.
It was an accident,i was told.
It was just yesterday evening, when he said he was going out and will be back in an hour's time. He reluctantly gave Adi in my arms and went to change.
Inspite of all the agarbathi's and coconut oil lamps burning in the house,i could still smell his cologne, like he was standing right beside me. I could still see the sparkle in his eyes and the smile on his face.
It cant be over. My son will not even have a memory of the proud hands that held him when he was born, nor the look of joy on his father's face when his little finger curled up to hold his finger.
Three people ceased to live from the same moment..................